Today is a day where I feel really down and out for some reason that I can't get my finger on. I tried to talk to my husband about certain feelings but it didn't turn out the way that I would have expected it to. I do love and care about my husband, but sometimes I don't understand him. We are a married couple but for some reason like normal couples, we don't spend any quality time with each other, and it is taking a toll on my self-worth.
Bing in a situation where I feel confused and lonely, where I do know what I want and need, but can't reach it is very frustrating for me. I feel that I have come too far from a lot of negative experiences, and it put a damper on certain emotional aspects in my life. At times I don't know how to feel and to make my own self happy. I don't depend on anyone else to make me happy, because they will be a life filled with misery and expectations from people. I am trying to learn how to enjoy just the little things to make me happy and have peace in my life. These are the times I try to think or talk about the great experiences that I have been through. Here is one of them recently attending my "little cousin no more" wedding this past August in 2010. It was one of the best wedding that I have been to. It wasn't because he was my cousin that I say that. I mean when I looked into their eyes, I saw the love just shining through, and that they were so happy together. They planned this wedding for a while before the actual ceremony. They canceled the first initial date of the wedding and changed it to another date. I am mentioning that because they new that they were in love and they got engaged maybe a year before the actual wedding date. The food at the reception was lovely and delicious. Half of the family participated in preparing the food, which I am sure saved them money in the long run from caterers. I got to see cousins that I haven't seen in years that was there and they felt the same way when they saw me. The church that I grew up in I wasn't there since I was a teenager, and those people that I have known and grew up with for a long time was so happy to see me and I was happy to see them. It just brought back such happy memories from my childhood that I would like to experience again, but you know that ain't going to happen. So back to reality, which is enjoying the happy times in my life and here is one for you to enjoy. See you next time.
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| Me and my cousin |
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| My son and my Grand Aunt |
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| My two cousins posing in the background |
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| My two cousins again |
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