Just Thinking

Thinking about MYSELF!

Sometimes I feel that is the wrong thing to do. It's not, because in order for me to function properly with productivity, I have to take care of myself mentally, emotionally, as well as verbally. Telling and reminding myself that I am somebody and I am important to myself. If I don't manifest that within myself I can't expect nobody else to do that for me. I am important just like everybody else in this lifetime. I didn't ask to be hear and to experience the negative circumstances in my life.

I have to keep reminding myself to do that, because I will feel like "WOE IT'S ME" for the majority of my life, and it's too overwhelming. The 'Negative' thoughts all the time about my past and how it is effecting my present life and my marriage. I have to Moooooooooooooove on, for real. If I feel that it's impossible to move on, I will never have a positive or productive/happy future.

I want to be happy and at peace within myself. It just seems like their are a lot of distractions mentally that I can't seem to shake. Even though my mother and father are not in my life, I still refuse to let them go in a sense of not being a part of my life. I just can't understand, being a mother myself, that she could not have a relationship with her children, is beyond my understanding.

Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore

I am having problems in my marriage right now and I am not happy. I didn't expect to feel like I am loosing myself. I can't eat properly. I am not really taking care of myself like I used to, because I am constantly thinking about my marriage. I don't want to feel so alone and neglected. He acts like he doesn't care when I express my feelings to him. He constantly hurts me by yelling and screaming at me all the time and not being receptive to my feelings. It just seems like a psychological game to him or something, while I am all emotional at those times.

It's no intimacy, romance, or spending time together. When that stops in a marriage for a looong period of time, expect your marriage to end soon. That is where we are at right now. When I try to talk to him about that, for some reason he takes it personal and he's defensive. He just ignores me and rejects me. It seems that when we are not intimate, that doesn't bother him, which I think is unusual. A man that loves a woman and vise versa will want to spend that quality time with each other. That's important to them, to enhance and maintain there marriage. It shows you care. He is the opposite of the typical. I just feel that it is a sign that he doesn't love me anymore.

I don't know how to feel or what to do. I know that I don't deserve this type of treatment. I am a good woman and was raised with morals and respect. I understand and except reality, but I can't accept when a person can treat you any way that he feels with no conscious. It just baffles my mind to treat someone that I call myself loving and marrying, then had 2 children with that way. He called me "UGLY" and that "YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN" numerous times enough. That was the icing on the cake. It was like a hot knife slicing through my heart.

He broke my heart so bad that I don't know if that scar can heal enough to be able to move on with him. It hurts too much to even look at him for a certain length of time. One of the reasons that you would marry someone is to maybe make there lives even happier and enriched. Not make them feel like their useless and worthless. That's how he makes me feel. My self-esteem is so low at this point, and I want it to end somewhere.

When you marry someone you have strong feelings for them obviously, but at some point reality sets in. Changes do happen between people every now and then and circumstances do occur. It's up to the couple to support one another unconditionally to be able to get through the "STORMS". If that doesn't exist in the marriage, then eventually resentment and bad feelings start to happen.

I want to know is anyone, woman or man, going through a Bad Marriage and don't know what to do? I am open for all comments.

I read this article from http://www.articlesbase.com/, really explaining the reasons why he is acting the way he is.

Signs That Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore